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Listen to this dream I had
November 1, 2023

This dream journal is in audio form.

I need an exam
October 29, 2023 6:30pm

This dream journal is in audio form.

Pathetic lesbian
October 20, 2023. 2:47am

Please for the love of god I just want a woman to touch me, apparently. Also my email has changed, it's ashleyjones@horsefucker.org
This dream journal is in audio form.

A shitty funeral

I had a dream that I was at a cementary where only children were buried. Except the headstones for the graves weren't headstones; they were toilets. It was respectful for the family of the deceased child to use the toilet. The toilets were out in the open so everyone could see the family using the toilet. Imagine a cementary but it's all a bunch of toilets, that's what it was like. During my visit there were plenty of family paying respects and releasing themselves. I'm not sure where the family's feces and pee went after they flushed, but it seems only right that it flushed down to the dead body's casket. I'd hope nobody was paying respects to an infant, because they couldn't release much without overflowing the toilet. Also, the feces wouldn't stink since it's six feet under.

I recall the place being very filthy, there was vomit on the ground in a lot of places, except the vomit was very poorly cleaned up (mostly smeared about).

Dream analysis: Dead kids deserve to be shit on. Respectfully.

JAMES CORBETT REOCCURING DREAMS

It is true that I often dream about James Corbett from CorbettReport.com. Somehow James is always finding his way to my mind. James Corbett intimidates me, I feel like he would heavily dislike me because I am not serious enough. Anytime I see James Corbett smile or laugh it feels like I'm watching an alien try to be human. I wish James the best with his family life and career, but he looks like he is always one second away from either crying hyterically or beating a defensless Japanese man sensless. I am indreasibly grateful for all the hard work he's put out all these years, he's a great person in the truth circle. However, he's like a caracatiure in my head. Anytime he whips out his guitar, I start to cringe. I just know what's about to come will only be the truth about how bad his singing is. But yet, I still love when he plays his guitar. It's awful in a great way, it brings genuine joy to me. Did you know he has a band? He has one song called "Screw Youtube", and in his music video he was sitting on this tall wooden fence and he was wearing these SHORTS WITH SANDALS and he was SWINGING HIS LEGS. I'm sorry, but I expect James to wear white caykies at all times. It felt so gross to see his legs in that state. But then again, here I am getting genuine joy out of seeing that atrosity.

I remember one time watching a James Corbett episode where he has the James Evan Pilatto from MediaMonarchy.com on, and the other James always looks like he's super fucking cracked up. Like he has a ton of energy. Well anyways, one time the other James was his usual self, looking super cracked out excited, talking about the reppies (reptilians) and James Corbett looked so tight lipped, red faced, like he was about to burst out crying. It was so funny to see the two polar opposites, the other James totally oblivious that real James looked like he was about to cry for seemingly no reason. I know this sounds mean of me to say, but I really appreciate these guys for all they do. I just think this is funny.

Anyways, I have a lot of dreams with James Corbett in them. I think it's because he's a teacher and my vagina has a fondness for male teachers. Sadly, none of my good looking male teachers never slept with me. That being said, I think James is good looking for possibly being an English teacher in Japan. I would let him teach me about the reptilians and Klaus Schwab, just let the teaching session see where it goes. Would his gap teeth feel good over my clitty? I dunno.

Okay but here is the most memorable and hilarious dream I had invovling James Corbett. You know how he makes content very often? One day he got extremely fed up with making videos. At the time I think it's because he mentioned in a video how he was annoyed that people kept saying him and Andrew Caufman. So one day he just flipped out, got extremely angry, made one last video saying how he was never coming back and how he's leaving his wife and kids. He deletes everything and is unheard of for months. A few months pass and he uploads a new video. The new video is James obsessively showing and talking about his highly advanced chicken coop he made in Minecraft. He had hundreds of chickens lined up maybe 80 feet in the air, each chicken had a 1x1 square to fit in. Below the chicken was a long tube in which their egg would drop down, and a catcher at the base of the ground. James was fantically showing this contraption, rocking back and forth, had a headset on. He looked awful too. I actually emailed James Corbett about this dream, but he never responded.

Speaking of James Corbett, why do so many people look like him? I feel like they make middle aged bald, bearded men in a DUMB and just release them into the wild, but give them balding genetics so they know how to keep track of them. Like they probably made James Corbett and Andrew Caufman from the same test tube. They fucked up with them, at least like give one of them hair or good eyesight.

CLAW MACHINE REOCURRING DREAMS

I have a lot of dreams where I'm playing a claw machine and just winning a ton of toys. One of the best clawe machine dreams is where I come across claw machines with large toys as prizes, it had carnival toys from the 70's-80's as prizes. Unfortunately, the claw machine was non functional as it was pretty old. In most of these dreams I am winning an endless amount of toys, so much so that the prize chute becomes full with toys. In real life, they rig claw machines. Often times, the owners of the machines set it so they must meet a certain "pay out" before the claw will actually grip a prize. So while you might have a great aim on getting the claw around a toy, it won't grip it firmly enough until enough money has been inserted to meet that payout. Some claw machines will do a fake out, where it will grab the prize, then once the claw gets back to the top of the machine, it will drop the prize. It's to trick you that it got it, but it actually didn't. Sadly, claw machines are worthless to play these days. It's become highly monetizable and impossible to win. I'm great at claw machines, but it's just a matter of luck with hitting the payout these days.

MY ALMOST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER

I was in some sort of nice romantic building and I met this nicer middle aged blonde woman who looked a lot like one of my old teachers. We got to chatting and things started moving quickly, we were going to have sexy lesbian sex but she told me she wanted me to shave my vagina before we started. I said fine, went to a bathroom and started shaving. If it meant I was going to slang some tang, I was gonna do it. It took me a long time to complete this daunting task, as I've mantioned many times before, I have a very thick and dense bush. I also wanted to make sure no hair was left behind, if my sweet lesbian lover saw that I had a hair on my vagina, she would probably freak out and call me disgusting for having a feature that naturally grows on me.

Anyways, I finished shaving my vagina and went to go meet her. Sadly, she decided to not have lesbian sex with me anymore since I took too long and she had some time to think about it. I got screwed without getting screwed. And now I had a gross hairless vagina.

I think I know why this dream occured. It's because my so called "fans" have judged me on my fan page for having hair on my vagina. Yes, I sometimes maintain it and keep it trimmed, sometimes. But sometimes I just let it go if I'm too lazy. Now the lesbians in my dreams want me to shave, and even at that, they still don't want to have sex with me. One time I remember cumming from a wet dream I had, which is very rare for me to do. I was watching 2 Japanese chicks dressed up in the school girl uniform scissor, and I remember waking up with a hard clit and it pulsated. I felt embarassed waking up, because I didn't even voluntarily masturbate but I still climaxed.