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Poems i made

I want to look like a man but i realize as a biological female that will never be possible but i can still try. click here to learn about the men i cross dress as

my pronouns are poo/pee. here are things wrong with us: DID, tourettes, depression, anxiety, social anxiety, BPD, ADHD, OCD, ABCD, autism, body dysmorphia, pubic hair, schizophrenia, transgender. oh and aids...

our alters are: ashley (this one is me typing right now) (she/her, age 16, underage) xXDerrickDaBeastXx (he/him, age 16) Taz (gay, homosexual, twink, age 24 unless his aids catches up to him) Barry (he/him, sexually opened, age 40-58) Linda (she/her, sexually very opened stretched wide built for bbc, age 37-49)

LEGAL NOTICE: if you masturbate to one of us you must depict all alters as 18+ or 14+ in Mexico

AVISO LEGAL: si te masturbas con uno de nosotros debes representar todos los alters como 18+ o 14+ en Mexico


My physical inspirations

I really enjoy the overall appearance of men in the rock/metal genre in the 80's to very early 90's. Especially the early 90's. I like their long hair with bangs, their tight high waisted pants (especially if ripped), and their (p)leather jackets. I especially enjoy their casual footwear, typically I find that I mostly like sport shoes on this type of male. To clarify, that's: long hair with bangs + high waisted pants + holes in pants (optional) + (p)leather jackets + casual sport shoes. On the more metal side of things, I like men who wear fingerless gloves, a vest, bullet belt, and tight jeans.

One of my favorite clothing items of this male archetype is a sleeveless black shirt. It is ideal if the man has moderate to large muscles when wearing this shirt. That is the purpose of a sleeveless shirt; to display his muscles. I have considered working out my arms to build muscles, but who am I fooling? One last clothing item I take a liking to is a head wrap, one like Rambo wears. This must be paired with longer shaggier hair. An item that is similar to the head wrap is the arm wrap - a black cloth tied around the arm. I would like to wear this for myself, but fear that I would look like I was in the middle of shooting up meth. I am not a drug user, so I do not wish to advertise as such.

I wish to look like these types of men I have mentioned; but I know that is physically impossible given the fact that I am biologically female. The female structure makes it impossible to authentically emululate a man's apperance, confidence, and logic. Even the most intimidating woman is no match for the average male. It would be foolish and mentally deranged if I wholeheartedly thought I could truly emulate a male's figure. I am 4' 11" and 88lbs, if I were to emulate being a male, I would only be able to emulate a 11 year old boy. Perhaps that's of interest to some people, but if you are interested in a young boy, you would not want that young boy to have a vagina. Logically speaking, it's very foolish for a woman to get so swept up in her inspirations that she wards away any rational reasoning in order to attempt to emulate what is impossible for her to achieve. I cannot look like this type of male, that will always be a fact.

I will make do with what I have and emulate these males in a method to where I am still female and not approaching any genuine attempt to appear intimidating or masculine. I did grow my hair out to try and look like one of these men in my video "Antiques guy Vs Ashley", and I got compared to David Cassidy.

This is a picture of David Cassidy

I got pleasure out of that comment, as David Cassidy is one of the many pictures I have saved to my hard drive in a folder dedicated to males who I wish I looked like. I get a lot of pleasure when compared to a male. I don't think there are many people in general like me, though. Male or female. I am a very independant person who's opinions are formed fully on my own, they are not gathered by means of trying to appease some social movement or group, or in an attempt to fit in with a checklist.

I would like to show you some of my inspirations.

The most drastic thing I have adopted to appear more masculine would be the sleeveless shirts along with fake scars. One time my dog scratched my arm in the perfect spot; the scar looked like an animal had scratched me in a battle. I wish that cut had been deeper so I would have a permanent scar. That didn't happen. For the past few months I've wanted to recreate the scar, but I realize it would be permanent, painful, and only something a mentally unstable person would do. Recently I learned you can make fake scars by using latex glue; or using a red eyeliner pencil. Here is a picture of a fake scar using the red pencil

I tried the fake scar glue method on my arm. You can barely see it in the picture. I recreated the animal scatch on my arm, which lasted well for a few days before I took it off. In this same area, I've wanted to buy fake temporary barb wire tattoos to put on that same area of my arm. However, I could only have one thing at a time, or else it would be overkill.

If you think it's weird I am drawing fake scars on my body, just remember this. It's totally normal and socially acceptable that a woman can put on pounds of makeup, COMPLETELY altering her apperance. Now they even use filters, which not only change their entire face, but also their body shape. And I'm the weird one for having a bad ass fake scar?

Here's a thought I just had. I like musicians who are British because it's very likely they are intact, AKA not mutilated in the genital region.